[PABC ENGLISH] Giving Thanks While Bowing Down

Giving Thanks While Bowing Down
Winnis Chiang

In August 2007, our only son got married. That completed an important life event for my husband James and me. In early September, our church agreed that we could go onto a mission trip to Germany and the United Kingdom during the holidays of Christmas and New Year. A week or so after James purchased our tickets, he noticed something strange with his left eye. He immediately made appointment to check things out.

A few rounds of exams and referrals followed. By mid October, two specialists gave the same diagnosis. James’ central vision was affected by a “macular hole” in his retina. The doctors explained a procedure to save it: a vitrectomy. “After we remove your vitreous sack and replace it with a gas bubble, you have to keep your face down. With the gas bubble pressing gently against the retina wall, hopefully new cells will grow to fill the tiny hole naturally … It will take six to eight weeks. Until then, you cannot fly … By the way, the sooner the operation the better.”

James signed up for the first available slot, Tuesday, November 13, exactly six weeks before our scheduled flight.

I thought I had entrusted the matter to our Lord. But I suddenly felt sick on Tuesday evening one week before his eye surgery. I felt stomach turning, tightening of chest, dizziness, nausea, sweating, shortness of breath, and limbs without strength. The strange thing is, as soon as we started a meeting, I felt all right. Then on Wednesday evening, I experienced similar symptoms right before our prayer meeting. Finally, it occurred to me that I was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear. During our Bible study on Thursday morning, God spoke to me through His word. My panic was lifted when I read,

“ … but when they saw him (Jesus) walking on the lake, they (the disciples) thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid” (Mark 6:45-52).

James’ eye surgery went smoothly. But at home he developed excruciating headache and vomited several times that night. He was obviously in pain as he kept pressing his figures onto his temples. Trying to help, I asked many questions without getting any answer. I knew things were bad when he shouted, “Leave me alone!”

The next morning, I drove an hour and a half to the doctor’s clinic. Sitting in the back seat, James leaned forward and rested his head on a pillow to keep his face down. The doctor explained that the headache and vomiting were caused by expanding gas. Eye pressure rose when the bubble pushed onto the retina wall. We were put into a usually unavailable examination room (now serving as an “Eye ICU”) during the day. That way, the doctor could come in anytime to monitor James’ eye pressure and administer various types of eye drops.

In the next few days, James’ left eye pressure climbed as high as 53 (instead of staying in the normal range between 9 and 21). There was the risk of retina detachment and even blindness. We ended up staying in the “Eye ICU” everyday. Each evening we arrived home physically exhausted, yet I kept sending e-mail updates and prayer requests. If I were to tell you about other complications and share details of our pains, fears, comfort, and hope, I would have to write a book.

By the time his eye stabilized, recovery was already delayed by one week. Unsure whether James could fly on Christmas Day, I finally asked, “Should we cancel our flights?”

James answered in his facedown position, “We have waited three years for this mission trip. I would rather risk losing the money.”

Every year we celebrate Thanksgiving with James’ side of the family on Thursday, and with the body of Christ over the weekend. Before James’ sudden illness, I was looking forward to celebrating our first Thanksgiving with our daughter-in-law. When it was clear that we had to miss both family reunion and church potluck, I was disappointed and sad. Nevertheless, I encouraged everyone to enjoy the holidays and do not worry about us.

So there we were celebrating Thanksgiving dinner – just the two of us. With James still wearing his eye patch and trying to keep his face down, we ate slowly. In quietness, my heart was somehow overflown with peace which transcended all understanding. I was grateful that we had each other. If we were not relying on the grace of our Lord, how could we live? Regardless whether James would ever regain his eyesight, regardless whether we could go on mission trips, the grace of our Lord is sufficient for me.

On Friday morning, our phone rang. "Hi Mom, could we visit you tonight? We will bring turkey and other yummy food from auntie’s house last night.” More phone calls from brothers and sisters followed. One family brought us lunch. Others brought delicious food for dinner. Although it was one day late, our son and daughter-in-law did have Thanksgiving dinner with us. Oh how we enjoyed the love of God.

On Christmas Day, James and I flew from San Francisco to Germany. We joined our short-term team according to schedule. All is well in His time. Praise the Lord!

Winnis Chiang, LMFT and founder of ParentingABC.com, is passionate about helping Mandarin and Cantonese speaking parents to get along with, enjoy, and positively influence their American born children.